Pension Adviser Mugs

"Is it my fault they can't be bothered to learn 19th century Persian in order to read it!"

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

"I've had a look at our revised pension forecast..."

"We explained to the Minister that pension management fees were incredibly complex..."

"The Chancellor insists on people getting 'advice' on what to do with their pension ports if they cash them in."

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"Young people don't like to think about pensions, they think they'll never get old and die..."

"I'm afraid your Christmas present hasn't gone down too well!"

"The new government is determined to act decisively on the 'pensions crisis'."

"You've got the weekend, have a set of draft proposals on my desk by Monday."

"It's at times like this you're forced to confront what real poverty is like!"

"A worrying 80% of employers haven't altered their pensions schemes after the budget announcements..."

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"It's a great feeling to be able to give someone good news for a change..."

"It's free to relish the beauty of a sunset..."

"...For the yacht Jim...just think of the yacht!"

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

"Now that the Default Retirement Age has been scrapped we can't get rid of him just because he's a bit old."

"The annuities market is in turmoil..."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"So in conclusion, you're 'on target'...maybe, perhaps...but I wouldn't want you to hold me to that!"

"If we increase your contributions annually and are lucky with our investment strategy."

"The FTSE has gone through the roof!"

"I thought now might be an appropriate time to review your pension planning."

"The latest studies show that only 7% of professionals are going to meet their pensions expectations."

"Public sector workers need to 'get real'...There is no way the government can carry on paying them the pensions they want..."

"I think a cap on management fees is inevitable sooner or later..."

"Getting young people interested in pensions is a nightmare, for some unimaginable reason they find the subject boring!"

"According to this article over 60% of people have never consulted a pensions adviser..."

"Of course annuity rates are enormously fickle..."

"Having reviwed your portfolio I think your best option would be to die earlier!"

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"It could be worse, you could have a life-threatening disease."

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"The French are at it again...They're resisting changes to retirement ages by taking to the streets and rioting!"