Pen Pal Champion T-Shirts

"You'd better cool it. Remember what he did to you last time."

Soldier armed with a pen.

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

Freedom of the press

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Letter writing lady.

"Be or be not. There is no question."

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

'You seem very confident this morning.'

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Deadlines, kill fees. Who comes up with these terms?

"Can I borrow a pen?"

Thank you Doctor

How some bird species determine pecking order.

'You misspelled 'Gonna' Verl. . . there's two 'n's' in it.'

List making as therapy.

"I feel like I play better on clay."

Global warming.

"It's a darkly comic indictment of my inability to write."

Arming teachers...what's the worst that could happen?

Cartoonist Pencil

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

Dear Bertha - I'd write more often, but I always seem to be out of ink! Love, Oggy

'I'm warning you! I have friends in high places.' 'They're climbing Ben Nevis.'

Mourning Pens

Soldier with large pencil instead of gun.

"Dude! I'm writing a letter to my parents. How many N's in money?"

Francois Mauriac.

'Are you still sure the pen is mightier than the sword?'