Peak Oil Ponderer T-Shirts

The Transition Oz team on their way to Totnes to get advice on Reskilling, Transport, Oil Dependancy and overcoming Post Petroleum Stress Disorder.

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

Beginning Yarder.

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

business

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

National Oil Reserve (Formerly National Wildlife Reserve).

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

Keystone XL

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich...

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'