Peace Process Pundit Pillows

Ban Ki-moon

Quality Control

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

War 2023

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

Hard Border

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

Gorbachev Changed the World

I think the best thing about this whole Russia stuff is the movies. Interesting hypothesis. Think about it: the best action movies we ever had were the cold war ones, like "Wargames," "The Manchurian Candidate," "The Day After," etc

"Great news, things are looking up in Iraq!"

Toy Soldiers - Toy Human Shield

Sanctions on Russia

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

"Okay, it's agreed, - if Trump gets elected we won't be heading south for the winter."

Ukraine Crisis

"This is a much better war then the war to end all wars."

Syria Crisis

'If voting in elections really changed anything the politicians wouldn't allow it!'

'You need to say more about the war than just 'oops'.'

"I don't have to say 'dance' I just start to complain about sanctions..."

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

The peace process.

"I love the smell of unmitigated quagmire in the morning."

Headless

Peace Under Siege

"Central America, the Balkans... such small countries... no reason we can't buy at least one of them."

"I looked in his eyes and couldn't see his soul."

"Why are the stupid Europeans grumbling about TTIP? I mean, if the US food standards are good enough for us Americans, they're good enough for Europeans, too!"

Peace Escaping From War

Mercenary

War is a Force That Gives Us Meaninglessness

Boss, North Korea's dictator just tweeted that he's considering launching nuclear missiles. He released a map of targets. The map shows that every part of the country will either be destroyed or irradiated. Except for this caf