Payslip Paradox Expert T-Shirts

"I'm planning my presentation. . . I'll put my payslip on the first slide."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

They hated me.

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

"These are 'small bucks,' Josh. You have to work here a long time to get the 'big bucks'."

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

Oil in Nigeria.

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"Looks like charity is the transfer of money from poor people in rich counties to rich people in poor countries."

'I'm prepared to pay you a living wage. Of course, what kind of a living you get out of it is entirely up to you.'

"I'm sorry son, I don't know how to answer whether today is opposite day or not."

"Just junk mail."

'The only thing keeping me from being successful is not having a salary.'

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

"The good news is, we've managed to secure you a ?7 per week pay increase. The bad news is, we're going to charge ?2 per day to park your cars."

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

'This administration is getting desperate. Now they say I owe taxes on the gains from my practice account.'

'I suppose you've often wondered what you'd do if you had my income.'

Corona Vaccine

'If that's the going salary, then what's the starting salary?'

'Of course I'm overpaid, everyone is overpaid!'

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

"So you're getting chicken feed...they expect me to work for peanuts."

"We managed to make ends meet."

'We're looking to expand our globalization into countries that don't extradite.'