Payday Pillows

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

Paycheck Beach Towel

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

'My pay cheque is late. I'm imposing economic sanctions.'

'I had a terrible day... but the money was good.'

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

Don't cash it before next Tuesday.

"What does 'FICA' stand for – Financially Insignificant Check Again?"

'Payday in OZ'

'Thanks, but I'm not a beggar. This is just the way my boss pays me my salary.'

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

"These are 'small bucks,' Josh. You have to work here a long time to get the 'big bucks'."

"I swear by all that is decent. Someday I will triumph over this act of paltry atonement! Otherwise known as payday."

"The office staff hired him to try to cheer me up. It's the day they get their annual bonuses."

"My take home pay must have gone to someone else's house."

"I realize we have to pay our employees, but it doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Casual Payday."

Is this about an increase? Yes, a longer chain please!

Job job job - whack! - Bills bills bills.

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'Sorry to disappoint you, Hambone...Your salary increase was a computer error.'

'Does my take-home pay have to go all the way home?'

'I prefer to be paid six monthly, my wife only kisses me on pay day.'

Every payday was the same, Dave's family worshipped him.

'Broke again?' - 'Yes, I wasted my last few pounds on the rent.'

I used to live payday to payday, now I live payday to three days till payday.

'Damn - Euro's from heaven!'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."