Paycheck Pundit Pillows

"The good news is, we've managed to secure you a ?7 per week pay increase. The bad news is, we're going to charge ?2 per day to park your cars."

'What's your opinion on a minimum wage?' 'Fine, as long as they don't tamper with the maximum wage!'

"My take-home pay is barely enough to take home."

"These are 'small bucks,' Josh. You have to work here a long time to get the 'big bucks'."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

CEO du Jour

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Where does it all end up?

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Obama Healthcare.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

Budget

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Statue of Security

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

Greek Crisis

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

Power/Expenditures

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

Diner is served

'Take a letter,'

"Im..peach...ment!"

"As a cost-cutting measure, for our fall list we have decided to bypass traditional bookstore sales and subsequent remaindering, and instead go directly to the shredder."

Jeff Sessions

Hog magazine with litters to the editor dept.