Paycheck Jester T-Shirts

"Whoa, don't hand me my pay cheque. I'm allergic to peanuts!"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

Why markets crash.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

'Wait a minute....!

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'That's part of out in-house, stress management program...'

We're looking at better ways to share our knowledge & expertise. But I'm not going to tell you what they are.'

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'