Pattern Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Hey Babe, you're different"

'We did the whole room over in fractals.'

'Coach is in a meeting. He's going over patterns with his receivers.'

Fashionable men discussing whether stripes or checks is the best pattern for trousers

Spot chart - Warts / Moles / Acne / Laura Ashley

'Can You Describe It?'

'The great thing about polka dots is that one more dot won't hurt.'

Unusual Examples of Male Pattern Baldness

'Haven't you got a smaller check?'

'Have you got one with smaller spots?'

A sudden attack of the plaid

"Jack, that painting is so much more me, than you."

Comic strip interior designers.

"Nice...I'd like to meet your tailor!"

The wardrobe of the damned.

Snapshots in Time

"It's a lot of work, but a quilt lasts forever."

'I'm sorry, you have the wrong organization - this is the 'National Association for the Advancement of Checkered People'.'

Neil liked to co-ordinate his outfits with his soft furnishings.

They've got it plaid... and that ain't good.

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

Spotty Car/Spotty Petrol.

Tartan Suit.

'Is plaid holding me back?'

"Helene tells me you're into fabrics."

Elegant material for trousers - only takes two men to show the pattern

Making it look easy.

Eclectic Blanket

"You have Floral-Pattern baldness."

"Camouflage becomes you."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

The Art Student.

'C'mon get it straight.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."