Patriotic Performer Gifts

"On the advice of counsel, Senator, I'd like to sing 'The Star-Spangled Banner.' "

"And now baritone Robert Winkley will sing, with no apparent effort, 'The Star-Spangled Banner.'"

"What does a candidate have to do around here to prove his conservative credentials?!"

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

Under New Management. Actually, Betsy, we were hoping for a flag with a little more style.

World Cup Fever

Uncle Donnie

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

Veterans Day US

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

Light RELIEF for England . . . PHEW!

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

Joe Biden

"Don't ask me. I don't know what 'my country 'tis of thee' means, either."

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

"Our flag means debt."

'...and I keep hearing, THERE IT GOES AGAIN!!...'God Save the Queen'....'

Go Britain!

Her Flag project near completion, Betsy Ross ponders a patriotic way to represent the colonies when inspiration suddenly strikes her.

'Just answer the question Senator - where is your American flag lapel pin?'

'Arm...cramping...'

Old soldiers at Dunkirk. Politically correct guy:'Sorry old boys-can't have you upsetting Johnny Foreigner, you know'

"December 25, 1776..."

"O.K., now can you make like a million little tiny ones?"

Under New Management. Actually, Betsy, we were hoping for a flag with a little more style.

'Can I still be a Yankee Doodle Dandy even though my birthday is May 25th?'

'Oh, yes, he's patriotic alright - only uses the Red Lion, the White Hart and the Blue Boar!!'

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

"Okay, boys...4th of July weekend's over...time to get back to dividing the nation..."

Ernie is producing a new TV show! Contestant musicians play their national anthem and judges pick winners in various categories. Some of the anthems we'll hear on the next show are "O Canada" from Canada, "Jana Gana Mana" from India, "Meda Dau Doka" from Fiji, "Patria Amada" from Mozambique and "God Save the Queen" from the United Kingdom! Ernie, I think your show is very good but you do create some confusion by calling it "The Country Music Awards."

"Let's go for a crewcut to salute our tremendous military."

Gracie and family sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" on the Fourth of July.

Happy Fourth of July!