Patient Warrior T-Shirts

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Our war is against cancer."

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

The Cougher

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Hot Pie Therapy

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Exercising

Shrinks in heaven

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Burnout Syndrome...

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'What are you eating now?'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'