Patient Shopper Pillows

Stand in the Q.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'She's so put together!'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Everything's gone up."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'She's on the trail of a pair of Jimmy Choo's.'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'Just look'in'

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

Mall of ages

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

Man on Stilts in a Market

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

Fashion Mistake.

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Complex Carbs

"I need nothing and I want everything."