Patient Practitioner Pillows

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

Virtual Doctor

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

Doctors Discussion

"The truth is, doctor, I've lost faith in Western medicine."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Medical Examinations.

'Bored?'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

First aid departments

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."