Patient Listener Mugs

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

"Listening to people whine and moan all day - no idea how you do it, Doc."

"You used a four wood on a hundred yard chip shot?!!! You ARE crazy!!"

Audio Books

Try me/try me/try me...

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

Mozart's very good, but can't beat Rossini for sandbox activities.

'Bored?'

Clive Anderson

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Attention Span Man

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

'Music hath charms,' &c.

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

'She saw right through me.'

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."

Science Applied to Art

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

"Sorry, I was driving under the influence of a bull market radio report."

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

Things can only get worse...

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

Pallbearers sitting around radio: 'This just in! Tributes are pouring in for the legendary tenor Pavarotti, who passed away earlier today....'