Patient Cook T-Shirts

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Counting ribs

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"You do like octopus?"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"You're the lid to my pot."

A heart shaped cake

Hungry child

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Cookbooks

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Beach Barbecue

Try to guess the continent dining...

Children's Feast.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."