Food As Patient T-Shirts

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Counting ribs

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

Any time is cake o'clock

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

What the Doctor Ordered

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Ice Cream Surgeon

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

La Table

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Fast food. Even faster food

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Soup of the month.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

You're the puff in my pastry!

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'