Patient Advocate Gifts

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

'If the treatment is unsuccessful, do you give back the information I released?'

"We need to break your addiction to prescription drugs. Let's see if this prescription helps."

"Our hospital is dedicated to cost transparency for our patients. I think you'll find our prices are so transparent you can't even see them."

"In order to ensure an accurate diagnosis, we've added some truth serum to your IV."

'Doctor's aren't allowed to do examinations alone. It's for your own peace of mind.'

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

"That liver went to someone who doesn't have such a big yap."

'Hello, Mr. Perkins. I'm Dr. Jones, and I'll be assisting you with your suicide.'

Patient is listening to the doctors conference about him.

Rationing disguised as health promotion?

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"The truth is, doctor, I've lost faith in Western medicine."

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

"I've always been a great believer in trial and error."

"Actually, I'm glad to hear the details of your operation. They forgot to charge you for that one procedure."

"Try to focus less on a cure and more on a treatment you can afford."

"I'm afraid the news isn't good - your parking ticket expired a week ago!"

'I don't think he'll make it either....I feel it's time to call in a minister to give last rites'

'Let me though! - I'm a Doctor.'

'Are you sure this isn't a pre-existing condition?'

Having to pay for health care up front.

'Tell-tale tit, your tongue will split. . .'

'My automatic page turner went wild, so now I'm having to learn to speed read.'

Handicap parking sign for person in hospital bed.

'I understand the fee for medications. But how come I was also billed for side effects.'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

'This is a serious complaint, we need time to consider it properly...about 15 years should do!'

'It's a new miracle pill made from 'get well' cards.'

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"