Pathogen Pursuer Gifts

Disease Management

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Breakthrough

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

Chasing Covid Variants

"Congratulations on your invention...but you don't have to rub it in."

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'If I don't like it, I rearrange your face.'

"For some unknown reason, this area has always been uninhabited."

"I thought it was a breakthrough, but it was only a misplace decimal."

Biolab. No, this is a good thing. Antibodies are not bullies going out and looking to pick a fight.

Dr. Fassbinder vanishes into thin air after failing to prove his existence.

"I marked the sections where your total contempt for humanity loses its pathos."

Combating Zika

"It shouldn't happen this way. I'll have to alter the data."

'This would be a lot easier, Miss Reed, if you didn't require such pinpoint accuracy.'

"Working late, my foot! You reek of pollen!"

"Biggest damn virus I've ever seen."

"Success nowadays is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent going viral."

"It speaks to my desire to spend money."

"Tell our 'movers and shakers', to lighten up a bit."

"How were the first few sips?"

"Whatever it is, it's contagious..."

'He's invented a new cocktail, trouble is he can't get as far as the patent office.'

"She's the most effective of our emerging new pathogens."

'Keep looking, nerd, keep looking.'

'...your father has also bequeathed your Grandfather;s place on the allotment waiting list to you, as he hoped that one day a family member may get allocated a plot'

'Sorry, pal - I don't really go for ginger blokes.'

'The test-results are back... I'm afraid it's quite serious: You're allergic to pollen...'

1.999999

'It's full AGAIN? I will NEVER drink this dry!'