Pasture Protector T-Shirts

"I'd like to thank Ed for not cutting the grass and farmer Moley, who didn't slaughter me."

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

'Good thing she's in my best pasture....'

'If you want to see your friends at the dairy, you're gonna have to go through me!'

Farmer with a Staff Wanted sign.

People in flyover country fed up with unidentified drone sightings.

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

North Pole

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

The Environmentalist

Deforestation.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Nature versus commerce.

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Natural Disasters

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

Eco-Anxiety For All Seasons

"I love you too, big guy."

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

Child protects planet with umbrella.

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

"Good riddance! They were messing up the environment."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"