Passport Control Officer T-Shirts

'Brilliant, these 'no smiling' passports make identification so much easier.'

"The name's Bond. . .Yeah right, but not James Bond."

Covid Passports

Schengen

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

hard-boiled egg...

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

Airport Security.

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Trump secret police

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"Now that's a win."