Passage Ponderer Pillows

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

Keystone XL

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Inventing Time Travel

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"