Party Surfer Pillows

'You think he's good now...you should see him when he's sober!'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Baby on board.

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Masquerade

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Redhead

Carioca

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Christmas sweater alternatives

Cheers

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

Leo McKern

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Down on Bourbon Street...

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"Aperitif?"

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

"Respect the park's Natural beauty. No Instagram filters."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"