Party Pooper Appreciation Gifts

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

Happy New Year! Hope you can stay up for it!

Conga train chasing a man at a party.

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'You've had enough!'

Another great new year's eve! We're not doing anything, Ames. That's what's so good about it. The Dixons asked us over for a Quaker new year. They pop the bottles at 9 p.m. I guess

"I'm passing on Halloween parties this year. You just know everyone's going to show up as Martha Stewart."

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

"Right now, I'm between naps."

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"They stay together for the money."

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

'So I guess it's New Year!'

'Your wife didn't do this. I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere.'

"Man, this party's boring... do you think we oughta add a laugh track?"

"Not a chance."

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"

"Did someone forget to invite Dwayne?"

'I hate these things. They're always so formal.'

"Dreadful party, nobody to talk to!"

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

'The Ghost of Birthday Present couldn't make it. I'm the Ghost of No Birthday Present.'

He's shy. I always have to drag him to these things, kicking and screaming.

Drink kills.

"If only we could stay home and TiVo the Carlsons."

Victorian Children's Party

"Honey, you're doing that thing again where you stare into space and wonder how I talked you into leaving the house."

"She's looking for just the right place to poopie."