Party Planner Extraordinaire Gifts

'Oh, man!! When I invited my Facebook friends to visit, I didn't think they would all show up.'

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

"AWW! We ALWAYS do a scavenger hunt!"

I've come for only one of you... the one who doesn't have a chair when the music stops.

'Happy 138 B.C.!!'

'Sir, the Christmas party is well prepared. We've got champagne, wine, beer, food and five canister of carpet cleaner.'

'Besides running office pools, taking up office collections and being the office party coordinator, do you have any other work experience?'

"It's not as bad as it looks. . .they're making you a birthday cake."

'Okay, I give up. What do you put in your cake recipe that tastes so familiar?'

Leaders face constant scrutiny and interpretation. They must speak directly and clearly."

Happy Eightieth Birthday

"They threw a surprise retirement party at work... It was for me!"

Rules for the next presidential debate drinking game.

Shaken not stirred

'Prime Minister expresses regret at untimely departure of Stephen Byers...'

'Lucky you, we have eleven guests and only ten glasses.'

'Of course we charge triple!'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Birthday Rush

'There must be an elephant in the room.'

'Animal magic.'

"Every Halloween barbeque he goes way over the top."

'There's a stick in mine...'

Tartine

"XThe candy has gone straight to my butt."

"This will be painful, so I was hoping I could record your blood-curdling screams to be used at my Halloween party."

Attorney at Law: Civil/Criminal/Family/Birthday

"My memory's so bad I can plan my own surprise party."

'I'm sure that star will still be there tomorrow night.'

"No one said turning eight was going to be easy."

The originator of the office birthday party.

"Shhh, this will be the best surprise party ever."

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! Today's my dad's 90th birthday. I got him a cake. I used 90 candles to spell out "Happy 90th, from your 'goof-up' son who can't ever do anything right. I organized this whole huge party. NOW what do you think of me, pop?" The candles flared up and burned his house down. What's your question, caller? Should I tell him I forgot to renew his home insurance?

You're forcing 2,000 tulips for one girl's sweet 16 party?! Yep. Haven't they heard? The country's having really tough times. Tree's Tree Nursery. Organic. Plant food. The family is concerned. They're making sacrifices, too. Oh? They wanted 3,000. Golden parachutes all around.

"Today's my dad's 90th birthday. I got him a cake. I used 90 candles to spell out 'Happy 90th Birthday from your goof-up son who can't ever do anything right. I organized the whole party. And what do you think of me, Pop?'...The candles flared up and burned his house down..."