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The Happiest Hen on Acton.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

In the Guru District

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Great Chinese Dynasties

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"National security adviser"

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"And this is our media room."

"#Win!"

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

Direct Marketing...

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

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