Party Life Navigator Gifts

There's always one idiot at the staff Christmas party who goes too far. If you work for yourself, that would be you.

Amusing patients: Photocopier burns

"No kidding, you're at Met Life? I'm practically next door, at Irving Trust."

'Oh yes, everyone likes him, he's not intelligent enough to make enemies.'

'She's laughing at his jokes not because he's clever but because she is. . .'

"I only drink to be sociable. . . if it's any of your business!"

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

A Sandbar piles of sand in a bar enjoying their night out

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

'None of the other things had instructions.'

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an aphrodisiac.'

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

Club insecurity.

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"I love college."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

'Wine improves my judgement. The urge to choke you lessens after a couple glasses of Chardonnay.'

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

"It's a jolly drinking song but I can't make it past the first few bars."