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GOP tent door

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"National security adviser"

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

That party went well.

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"Dad, why does a huge beast like that let such a small bully control it?"

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Fiscal cliff

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"Look, Earl. . . It's a young person Republican! They do exist!"

The Establishment Election

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

Shy Man at Party

Leon the electron was not sure just to where he'd been blasted when the photon struck, but indicators suggested he was now in one of the atom's degenerate orbitals.

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

GOP surprise.

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

When Astronomers Party.

'His idea of bipartisan is going to two parties a night.'

'I knew I shouldn't have come. That Maximus, throws the worst orgies!'

"We can't even admit we work here."

'We finally found the source of all those wikileaks!'

The Darling Buds of Theresa May.

"And now... the latest dope from Washington..."

'This is Morgan Bottomley. He's too big to fail.'

". . . and yours is the most special of the special interests I cater to."

"Kitchens are my milieu."

'May I say how delightful it is to hear he use of the word 'Egad'.'

"So the microwave's got a popcorn button, but the popcorn bag says don't use the popcorn button, and I'm like, Microwave people! Popcorn people! Get your act together!!"