Party Gift Mugs

'It's a conversation piece.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Cow Pinatas

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Daughters on the beach

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

Balancing two espresso martinis

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Shaken not stirred

"I am so attracted to you right now."

Beers

Karataoke

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Peel poker.

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

"welcome man cave."

Short-lived Neanderthal Games: Slap The Sleeping Dinosaur

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."