Party Comedians T-Shirts

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

Occu-Pie Mars

They're Not Just That Into It

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

Woody Allen

Their father would frequently have to barge in and pantomime to his kids that they were not being quiet enough as they pantomimed actual noisy children.

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

'Do you think Mum and Dad are trying to keep an eye on us, by enroling on the same university course as us, Colin?'

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

"Our little girl has blossomed into quite the little complainer."

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

'I kinda did.'