Partisan Politics Pundit Pillows

"Love all the precedents you set, can't wait to take advantage of them."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Hate Platforms

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Where does it all end up?

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Obama Healthcare.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"Our government is proud announce a whopping 1% GDP growth at the small cost of climate change nearly wiping our indigenous tribes out."