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Schlock Holmes

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Sock Puppet in Literature

E-Baying @ The Moon

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

"Housekeeping?!"

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

Little Red Riding Carpet

Spam in Hell.

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

'Who's the new guy?'