Parishioner Friend T-Shirts

"As a single young male at this church I am uncomfortable being constantly evaluated for marriage potential."

Shepherd and eurydice

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Holding hands

Priest

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Infantry.

Senior Jeopardy!

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

If you want to see love be love.

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Red Letter Days - Encounter with the old village sweetheart - 'bless my soul! ... Miss Victoire! ...'

"He's only energetic on sunny days."

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'