Parenting Puzzle Prints

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'Your teacher says he finds it impossible to teach you.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

Suffering from Cooties?

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'Save us!'

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

Polly, want a cracker, but Polly need a glass of wine.

'Honey, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?'

What can I play?

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"If they give you any trouble, find a good babysitter and go out for the evening."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'My kids don't understand me.'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

Daughter/psychiatrist

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

We're very disappointed. We thought the nanny had raised you better than this.

'He was raised by sparrows!'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

Are we going to raise her as a cat person or a dog person?

Bedtime Story

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'