Parenting Influencer Prints

"Actually ours started walking on water at nine months."

'It's not that I don't want to spank you. It's just that I know you'll blog about it if I do.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"This is off our first TikTok."

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

Witches of Instagram

'The stuka brought you.'

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."