Parenting Apprentice T-Shirts

'How long did you intern with Grandma before you became a full-fledged Mom?'

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

A butcher and his apprentice.

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

"Triple whammy."

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice, Lord Mayor of London.

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

Builder's School

"Did you ever have that baby you wanted so much?"

'Bill, you messed up again. You built the second floor on top of the third floor.'

The children who can't handle dialog will play trees and bushes. They'll be scenery and not heard!

"They're not home.."

'We must now come to spacing of the letters - I can't charge a customer for an extra cake...'

"Juding by your expression, your mom made kale for dinner."

'Miron, stop teasing your brother this instant or I swear I will eat you! Don't think I won't! Remember what happened to your older brother Milton?!"

"Her phone has parental controls, but I have to ask her how to use them."