Parenthood Pro Pillows

'He's a quick learner. He's already memorized the last four digits of his social security number.'

"He seems to be a bit of a crybaby."

'Slap me and I'll see you in court.'

'She doesn't have a fever...I can't see a rash...but she's miserable! maybe we should take her to urgent care.'

"Being a Mom may be a lot of work but at least you've got job security."

"Now you listen to me young man because I'm only going to repeat this a GAZILLION times!"

"I don't mind the wheezing. It drowns out the sound of my kids constantly arguing."

City Zoo: Day Care

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"They grow up so fast."

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

A mother and baby elephant

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Baby pram as a tank

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'