Parenthood Pandemonium Explorer T-Shirts

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Baby pram as a tank

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

'How many fingers do you see?'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'Mom says she has a souffl

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

IVF assessment centre.

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

"Why are you special? Because I'm your mommy, and I'm special."