Parenthood Admirer T-Shirts

Cowboy Baby.

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'Mom says she has a souffl

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

IVF assessment centre.

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

'Ted, you won't climb the corporate ladder if you keep taking paternity leave!'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

'Well, great! I raise you to be a vicious bird of prey, and you wanna be a songbird!'

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

Maternity Arrivals

Children.

"I was hoping you'd have outgrown that by now."

Testing the water temperature in the font.

Baby Wind Up.

Insomnia.

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."