Parental Responsibility Champion Pillows

A child has an eye patch where he's been burned.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

JAMES BONDING

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'I'm so proud: My son can't sit still...'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

The First Day Back

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

Fathers are Heroes

'Mother will catch you!'

"I mean, he does have a point."

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'I'm about to throw a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Father's Day

'I came untucked.'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"Ugh. I've been on hold for 20 minutes..."

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

'My problems seem small to you because you're so darn BIG'

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

MOMumental Achievements.

'I'm afraid the legislation only covers one partner.'

"All we are saying. . . is give peas a chance!"

"Before this goes any farther, you should know that I have kids, and I'm old, and I live in a shoe."