Parental Responsibility Champion Pillows

A child has an eye patch where he's been burned.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

JAMES BONDING

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'I'm so proud: My son can't sit still...'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

The First Day Back

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

Fathers are Heroes

"I mean, he does have a point."

'Mother will catch you!'

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'I'm about to throw a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Father's Day

'I came untucked.'

'My problems seem small to you because you're so darn BIG'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"Ugh. I've been on hold for 20 minutes..."

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'

"All we are saying. . . is give peas a chance!"

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

'I'm afraid the legislation only covers one partner.'

"Before this goes any farther, you should know that I have kids, and I'm old, and I live in a shoe."

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"