Parental Patience Guru T-Shirts

'I'll write this off as part of a phase you're going through, on this occasion...'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'What's play?'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"Is there a vegan option?"

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

Playing Mozart to the baby.

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

Gangs of New York

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

A Boy and His Mother

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Go ask your search engine."

'Excuse me mom, I've got to take a call.'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."