Parent-teacher Night Humorist Mugs

"Your son is quite the little bookworm."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'Wayne, your turn - Darren needs changing!'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

'Junior is just a little confused.'

'Congratulations! It's one of the beautiful people!'

'Help Doctor!! My baby swallowed a pencil!'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

"Doctor, should I have a baby after 38?"

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

"Dad, can you just ground me instead?"

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'

'I hope Daddy wins the mating fight, otherwise, we'll end up with half brothers and sisters...'