Parent-teacher Conference Enthusiast T-Shirts

'As a result of our last parent-teacher conference, the administration felt it was necessary to have bars installed.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"In economics, I got an IOU."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

Common Core Family Therapy

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"In fact, the work's been so good that we question whether it's Will's own."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"Remember this? One sweetheart of a deal!"

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

Obama in schools.

"It's a fair COP26."

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.