Parent Of A Second Grader Prints

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'It wasn't my fault. They asked me about things that happened before I was born.'

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.

"The bully at school keeps calling me a snowflake."

"Maybe you should phone your Mother, and ask her if you can watch it."

'A cow is called 'productive livestock' because it gives milk. Parents are productive livestock, too, because they give pocket money.'

"Megan is at that age where she's embarrassed to be seen shopping with her mother."

'The dog kinda ate my homework. He deleted it off my hard drive.'

'I need a helping hand.'

'Are you going to be long in there? ...And have you seen my electric guitar?'

'There goes my part as a wise man in the Christmas pageant.'

'In order to cut down disruption in my class I've asked my students not to wear any gang, club, team, or group colours, insignias, patches, etc.'

'I ate some modeling clay in school today. It's okay, they're not going to make me pay for it...'

'He's doing so much better, lugging that backpack to school, since we started him on steroids.'

Terrible Twos Bullying

"Self-isolation used to be fun when it was my decision."

Suddenly Kip hit an area not marked on his Creaky Board Floor Map. The curfew police would both be sympathetic.

'Don't patronize me. We both know I could do better. Why do you always have to be so hypocritical?'

'You're ovrreacting to Wally acting up in my class...'

"Elbows off the table!"

My mother signed my progress report, but the signature got smudged by her tears.

"Third grade is supposed to be temporary, son. Remember that."