Parent Joke Collector T-Shirts

'Hey, dad, I taught the dog to sit!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Useless add-ons.

Suffering from Cooties?

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

Shark infested custard!

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

My daddy ate my homework

Cheating Death.

"Turn your head and cough."

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'