Parent Chuckler T-Shirts

"I'm sorry, James...but I'm afraid Jelly Beans aren't a vegetable!"

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"Use your inside scream."

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

"The fish isn't renewable, but I know the fisherman has 6 kids and counting."

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

'....How many babies are you going to have, mommy?"

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

"When do I get my phone call"

'Beats me why, but it's a sensitive subject: Some people will call you a Buffalo while others will call you a Bison...'

Children Who Have Given Up Soap For Lent

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'

Our Yuppie Dad

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

"It's the kids! Quick! Stash the cigs!"

"No. I have the baby."

'I see the kids have 'broken-up' for the school holidays!'

I brought two #1 pencils.

Caution Slippery When Wet.

"Mommie!"

'It's half past November, young man! Get back into your room and hibernate!'

"Sorry darling, but if Dad has put his blinkers on and is reading the newspaper, it means he doesn't want to be disturbed..."

"My parents sent back all my stuff that came from China."

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!