Parent-child Banter Lover Prints

"My mom still makes all my clothes by hand."

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Well, maybe you want crackers Mum, but frankly, given the choice, I would prefer chocolate cake..."

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"Whadd ya wanna be for Halloween, Bro?"

"Damn it, agree to whatever she demands. No matter what it takes, I want my mommy."

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

"I can't use the computer tonight -- Dad has to scroll to his year of birth."

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

'Don't worry about me, mom, I'll be fine as long as you keep working!'

Some parents …

'Beats me why, but it's a sensitive subject: Some people will call you a Buffalo while others will call you a Bison...'

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

"I think our daughter got her brains from me."

"It wasn't our first choice of schools, but we had a Groupon for it, so what the hell."

"I don't know what's worse - my helicopter mom or her drone."

'You kids stop your bleating or I'll give you something to bleat about.'

Baby Going to Toilet on Father.

"Jack and Nina's concern grew when their son, James, confided in them that his imaginary friend was, in fact, a short-tempered snapping turtle."

"Let me guess -- first child?"

"I'll gather. Oog will hunt. And you'll invent daycare."

"Oh yeah... well I say my kid is better at math and social studies than your kid!"

"You kids think Tea Tree oil grows on trees?? Tea trees?? Well, you're wrong!! It's extracted from the leaves of trees in the family myrtaceae, bred in the plantations of New South Wales!!!"

"Race ya."

"A bum steer... Must be from your side of the family."

"Sorry darling, but if Dad has put his blinkers on and is reading the newspaper, it means he doesn't want to be disturbed..."

"I don't see why I have to learn this stuff! It's knowledge I'll never need! As long as you're here to translate for me."

"Vegetarian" is such a predictable phase. You'll grow out of it. Teddy? A word please. Come on, dad! You know I'm right. You may be. But your sister is stubborn. She digs in her heels. So? You added 5 years to her predictable vegetarian phase. I didn't predict that. Best colleges for Vegetarians.

'A cow is called 'productive livestock' because it gives milk. Parents are productive livestock, too, because they give pocket money.'

'Why do you ask me questions if you don't want to hear the answers?'

'You've got a new Christmas sweater!'

"One day son, all of this will be yours."

"It's really nice to see you finally putting some effort into your homework young man."