Parakeet Pal T-Shirts

'Things just don't seem the same since we got rid of the parakeets.'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

Over the years, Marvin began to look like his bull mastiff.

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"I'm going to prepare a special dish for Thanksgiving dinner."

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

'Pull...'

Once you get the shells off they're really quite tasty.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

"How many letters can you read?"

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'Se Non E Vero' Etc.

"This is my man cave."

The Zombie Awakes...

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

"Do you think we should get a pet?"

'So, your anger management class is working?'

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."