Paperwork Pillows

Attention Span Remaining: 3 minutes, 27 seconds.

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

"If you're really disciplined, you can get through all the paperwork in a 50 hour week..."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'Sure, we could make it simpler but that would only complicate matters.'

In one ear/Out the other.

"I can see you and I'm still too busy."

"It drives me crazy when people complain about needless for filling...I mean if staff don't fill out the appropriate paperwork then how can we possibly know how much papaerwork has been completed."

"I can't understand how it got lost - I haven't filed it yet"

Bureaucracy.

"I'm applying for a grant to be able to apply for more grants."

"I can assure you, he is somewhere in there looking for it."

'Turn all this black and white into gray...'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

'Take this report and put it into the form of a bumper sticker.'

"Fill out these 'new patient' forms, but leave 'age' blank, as you may age a year before you're done."

'This is the questionnaire we need everyone to fill out about their views on excessive bureaucracy.'

'You forgot the form number? No problem- Just fill out this form number request form.'

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

"Get a computer?! Do I look as though I have room in here for a computer?"

"This IS the easy form. The regular one is over there!"

"The last of the paperwork harvest is in."

'Sir, to receive an application form, you have to fill out this application form.'

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

Bureaucrat Handling Your Application

Regulators claim practices are overloaded with patient surveys.

"It's not my job to tell you whose job it is to tell you whose job it is to tell you what you want to know."

Dept, of the Hokey Pokey

Hokey Kokey Association.

Anal Retentives Assoc.

Al's Small Biz: 'Help wanted...someone to fill out government forms'

"'Nurturing the sick and suffering', very interesting but first shall we look at how you manage forms ERT/3 through to HNF/56b."

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

Here and There Trays