Paper Magician T-Shirts

"As the Genie of the Stapler I grant you three wishes. All must involve paper products, of course."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"I can't believe he brought her."

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

Primitive magician

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

"Could you keep still?"

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Smoke and mirrors.

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

Magic Tricks

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Juggler and Illusionist

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...