Paper Industry Professional Pillows

"I hate to tell you this Bob, but after today, you're going paperless."

"After a while, shredding documents wasn't enough."

"When they said that printing out stuff unnecessarily would affect the environment I did't think it would be this quick!"

'Don't worry about him. He works in the paper industry, and he's not happy that I've gone paperless.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

In basket-case.

"Morning, all!"

The Buck Never Stops.

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

Stationery Shop

In - Out - Pending.

Responsibility and duties

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

Desk bins: 'Whatnot,' 'Whatever,' and 'What now?'

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

'Actually I can't even figure out the origin of this organization.'

"I'm too busy to show you around, Smith. You'll have to follow me on Twitter."

"I have a protein drink every day for lunch, because I never have to chew."

"People whinge about the irrelevance and duplication of paperwork, but if the forms aren't filled out how are we supposed to know how many forms have been completed?"

Paper Trail

My new boss is a real multitaskmaster!

"I know you're allowed work from home, but do you have to work from MY home?"

"Check out my free white paper!"

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'